Welcome to
Beginning Escorts: Ass with Class.
Escorting: A definition
In the world of “pay for play”, the term escort
means different things to different
whoremongers. If you are poor, an escort is
simply a streetwalker with a phone.
If you are wealthy, an escort is often
considered a courtesan.
If you are somewhere in the middle like the rest
of us, the term escort usually means a hooker
that is a little better looking than a
streetwalker, and works indoors, instead of in
cars.
They usually cost
anywhere from $300 to $500 per hour depending on
your locale.
Have you seen some of the escorts listed on one
of the many sites devoted to erotic advertising?
There are some damned fine babes. Some so hot
they could be cover models. At $300 an hour they
better be right?
If you fell for it, congratulations, you’re
taking your first step towards disappointment.
That really is a model. The escort stole the
picture from a website. But let’s say that you
didn’t spot it as a fake right away and that you
instead called and set up an appointment. When
she shows up at your place and isn’t the girl
pictured, what do you do? Do you slam the door?
Do you let her in anyway?
You have no idea, do you? The first mistake you
made was having her out to your place. That’s a
huge no-no and a newbie mistake. Newbie mistakes
get you arrested, robbed, or killed.
There are a million ways to mess up before you
even start so keep reading. If you are willing
to risk arrest, conviction, and embarrassment,
you may be one of those people that really enjoy
visiting escorts. It’s not as creepy as it may
sound. There have been numerous examples of
power players and famous people seeing escorts.
If you too could get any woman you want, but
don’t want to deal with the hassle of a
relationship, and have money to burn, then
escorts are just what you need.
Of course if that isn’t the case, be sure to
check out the alternatives to escorts at the
bottom of this page.
So now that we’ve got you a little scared, let’s
talk about what you need to know about the
escort business.
Since you were most certainly looking at
pictures of escorts before you came here, or
will be when choosing one, we’ll start with:
The Promotional Photo
Whether it’s an ad in an alternative weekly or a
website online, you are using a picture to
determine which lady you want to put your dick
in.
What escort wouldn’t want to look better than
she already does? She sucks dick for a living,
you think she’s above posting a fake picture if
the calls are down and baby needs diapers or
momma needs a fix? It can be tough spotting the
fakes. It helps to have an encyclopedic
knowledge of porn stars. Barring that you can
use a little common sense when looking at the
pictures. Look at the quality of the photos. If
they have too much of a glamour quality to them,
they are fake. You’re looking for the photo that
looks like it was taken with your average run of
the mill digital camera. Obvious cell phone
pictures are close to a sure thing.
The most important thing to look for is the
lighting. Bad lighting means amateur. That
doesn’t guarantee that it is her in the photos.
But it does lend credence to it really being her.
Price is another good factor to look at. If her
prices are higher than the rest, she may have
glamour shots. She can afford them. She is for
the high rollers and if you’re reading about how
to make it happen here, you aren’t one. But if
she’s charging below market for her looks, then
that’s a dead giveaway that it isn’t really her.
Don’t’ let your dick decide just yet. When you
are doing your research on who you want to see,
reject the obvious fakes, then look at what her
ad says.
***
It’s All in the Ad
Have you looked through the
terms and definitions
yet? You’ll need them when studying the ads.
Do you know what type of encounter you want? You
need to have an idea because not all girls do
the same thing. There are two basic types and
about a thousand nuances in between. Are you
looking for a hot and heavy, big fucky no talky
type of encounter? Then you are looking for PSE
(porn star experience). Do you want to wine,
dine, and play pretend girlfriend and kiss and
eat pussy? They you’re looking for a GFE
(girlfriend experience).
As you can see, those are two entirely different
types of encounters. You better read that ad for
more than just the phone number or e-mail
address. You also want to see if she requires:
***
References
Some escorts require that you give the name of
an escort that you have already seen. Skip her.
It isn’t worth it. I know this sounds
conspiratorial and paranoid to a newbie. Deal
with it. You never want to give a hooker a
chance to cross reference with other hookers. If
they can get enough information they can
possibly find out who you are. Think blackmail
is only for television? Then you aren’t paranoid
enough. Speaking of information, you should:
***
Never Give Out Any Information Whatsoever
Don’t’ split hairs, of course you will have to
give up your phone number. Escorts don’t accept
blocked calls. You’ll also have to give up your
e-mail address if that’s the only communication
she uses before setting the date. So what can
you do? You can get a disposable cell phone with
prepaid minutes and set up an anonymous e-mail.
Think that’s too much trouble? Think of the
trouble you’ll have explaining to your wife,
kids, the police, the judge, your boss. Get the
point?
It’s not too much trouble. If you use a review
board, never give up your handle. That’s yet
another way they can find out who you are. Think
it hasn’t happened? It has, many times.
Assuming that her picture looks real and her ad
looks right and you haven’t seen anything bad
about her on the review boards, now you can:
***
Make the Call
Now you’re really nervous aren’t you? Don’t be a
dildo and hang up. Just say hey, I saw your ad
on wherever you saw it, and that you’d like to
make an appointment. It’s as easy as that.
Now other than finding out when this is all
going down, that’s all you need to say. Talking
about what to expect will result in a quick end
to the conversation. Yes, you’d like to know for
sure that she’ll stick a finger or to in your
ass while tonguing your nuts.
Even if she said it would happen you can’t be
sure. That’s why you need to make sure you do
your homework and follow:
***
The Review Process
Your city or neighboring metropolis will have
one, even if its fee based. The most important
thing to find out is if she is legit. No
reviews, no dice. Wait for someone else to break
her in if she’s new. The most important
information the reviews contain is the assurance
that she isn’t part of a sting. Of course even
that isn’t a guarantee, but the more reviews
over a long period of time, the better the odds
are that she isn’t a decoy.
Reviews also can confirm if she is GFE or PSE
and they can warn if an escort is a ROB (see
acronyms).
What the reviews cannot tell you is how well the
session will go for you. They are too
subjective. Speaking of reviews, should you ever
write them? Only if you take the most extreme of
precautions. In other words, you shouldn’t. Be
smart about it. Don’t leave a confession of your
crime on a website that is routinely accessed by
the police. Posting can add to existing evidence
if you run into a:
***
Minor Inconvenience
Yes, there are a lot of minors who work as
prostitutes, especially on the free public
boards. Get caught with a minor and your
misdemeanor just became a felony. She needs to
show you her I.D. If she doesn’t, she’s not
worth the risk. Need I say more? Do you really
want to risk compounding a teenager’s problems?
Do you really want to register as a sex
offender?
***
Alright, so you’ve ignored the warnings that you
can get into very big trouble and want to go for
it anyway. You’ve chosen your escort and made
the call. Now it’s time to:
Set the appointment
Where are you going to meet? Of the three most
common places, her place, your place, or a
hotel, the smart money is on a hotel, in her
name. Escorts with a static incall location are
a magnet for police stings and an easy setup for
a pimp ambush (yes, they do happen). Your place
is absolutely out of the question. Letting a
hooker know where you live is a terrible idea. A
hotel room at least has people around so as long
as you aren’t in the lowest of low rent
fleabags, you will be less likely to get jumped.
Make no mistake though, anything can happen
anywhere so don’t let your guard down. If you
get creeped out you can always bail out before
going through the door.
Once you’ve gone through the door there are a
whole new set of rules to follow. The first
being how you handle:
***
The donation
It’s the only reason she’s there. That wad of
cash is important to her. Without it, you aren’t
screwed. Here is where the potential “Mexican
Standoff” takes place. She will want to take the
money, but once you give it over, you lose your
bargaining position. Trust me, once she gets it
in her hands, you aren’t getting it back.
What most “reputable” escorts do is have you put
the cash in an envelope and leave it in the open
so she can see it. Now here’s what you really
need to know. If she won’t state what she will
do, before you put down the envelope, or if she
requires that you hand it over before she will
tell you what you get for your time, bail out.
Bail out immediately and don’t turn back. Get in
your car and get the hell out of there. She may
be calling her pimp or he may be on his way the
minute you walk out the door. Don’t pause and
don’t argue.
You walk because no matter what it is that you
want, you aren’t getting it for what is in the
envelope. She’s going to give you the old
“that’s just a door fee” line and then start
up-selling until you are out of cash. You’ll be
lucky to get a hand job from a girl like that.
Here would be a great time to remind you that
you are dealing with a hustler and a criminal.
Give her a chance and she’ll take advantage of
you. She’s going to do her best to get you to
believe that she’s one of the good ones but
since you aren’t going to be able to know for
sure, assume that she is not.
If you’re still interested in seeing an escort,
keep in mind that free advertising sites are
full of rip offs and worse. At least take the
precaution to go with a fee based site. It won’t
guarantee anything, but it will at least help to
reduce the riff raff.
As stated at the beginning, there are
alternatives to escorts. Learn the ins and outs
of adult online dating and before you know it
you will have yourself a fine stable of booty
calls!
